Banking Bumpers

So I am a little annoyed and just have to get this off my mind....when did it become so hard to get YOUR money from the bank? It really makes me question if that is where I want to store it. I have a Bank of America account - I opened my account when the bank was Rainer bank then Seafirst bought it and then Bank of America bought it. I have had my money there for a LONG time. All I wanted was to move $100 of MY money from my Bank of America account to my Michigan Commerica account. I called B of A and after 45 minutes on hold, 15 minutes of repeating over and over that I can not walk into a branch (the closest one is in Chicago - 6 hours away) and 15 more minutes on hold, they told me Commerica would have to do it.

I drove to Commerica and requested this and they told me (after 15 minutes waiting in the lobby and 10 minutes waiting at a desk) that B of A would have to do it. So I had Commerica call B of A to sort it out since NO ONE wanted to do it but I WANTED MY MONEY.

We decided that a transfer was not possible but a wire would be - all I had to do was (from the B of A rep who knows where I am right now) walk into the B of A branch and sign a form to allow a wire transfer. To make that even better - it had to be the branch that I created my account at - so we are now going from a 6 hour drive to a 6 hour flight with a 1-2 hour drive (depending on traffic) to get to the Highlands Sammamish branch. NO! I have done wire transfers with them before - they should have it on file. Nope – not in our records (so where is it?). Well can we sign it here at Commerica, notarize it and fax it over today, over-nighting the original? No - must be done in person at the opening branch. They do not seem to care that this is MY MONEY - not theirs. I have proof I am who I am that the Commerica notary can see. Nope.

Mind you my debit card has expired and they did not send me a new one because my mailing address is in MI and they have no branches there. Yet they were asking me to walk into a branch to do my banking. Then they hang up on the Commerica agent. Wow. I am embarrassed, remaining cool and slightly turning pink, I think.

I go back to the office and call B of A again. I bypass everyone and go right to the top - Director of Customer Special Services. (I have his name for another matter earlier and he was most helpful). I explain all this and we go over the typical options again: walk into a branch and withdraw, have the debit card sent to a Washington address (because sending debit cards to some friend to mail to me is so much more secure than a bank notary for a wire transfer), write a check and deposit into my account (takes 10-15 days for an out of state check to clear here not to mention I have no more checks so they would mail them to WA……), have a Power of Attorney made for someone to go into the bank and sign the wire transfer paper (what the F--k - they will accept a notary for this but not my wire transfer directly) - oh, I have to have the PofA notarized at the branch I created my account in (if I am there to do a PofA, I would just sign the papers myself or withdraw the money myself). What are these people's problem. Why give me options that they know will not work - like the last one?

Whatever - I am just short of telling him what I really think of him and his bank when I remember that B of A bought La Salle (a very prominent bank here). We did? Oh, wow. I know more about your bank than you. This is not good. I am on hold again..........after several rounds of very annoying elevator like classical music with a great contemporary twist that makes me rethink EVER calling (the point I think), he comes back and confirms that they indeed did buy La Salle. Good. I already knew that - CAN I GET MY MONEY THERE?

On hold again.......great music............"Nope - official "Red" day is not until May" (Red Day - day all the signs changes and people know it is B of A now – too late we all know but you …..maybe an internal memo would work better). Systems will not be compatible until around Jan of 2009. So if I walked into a B of A in June 2008, I STILL WOULD NOT be able to get my money? Right; only account opened there and current La Salle customers of that branch could access money. B of A merged in Aug of 2007. What could possibly take so long? I think it MIGHT have something to do with internal communication and ability to solve problems. [And WHY are you only giving me NO answers and WE CAN'T answers. Customer service is about YES - this is what we CAN do. ]

He finished his proud moment of bank expansion information with “I will get back to you tomorrow”.

Update: It is April 27, 2008 and tomorrow has not yet arrived. I will be in the Seattle area in June. I will get my own money out and close my account.